Mansi

Also, I do want to fervently mention that the fast is not about the husbands. It's not about their lives either.
It is about the notion of life. Perhaps some of the peace I observed in the faces of other women at the puja was because they were celebrating life itself and praying for an extension, if possible.
And yet in that sentence, I have managed to completely contradict myself. For as I started out, it is my belief that this special day is a complete selfish act on the part of the woman.
Can devotion be selfish, you ask? Yes, it can and should.
So for any of you men out there who are still sweating it out, let it go. It's not really about you.
Lastly, one cannot ignore the economic implications of such traditions. Are women dependent on men culturally? Yes. It never ceases to amaze me in just how many different ways.

Just as the thought that occured to me a few days ago that female foeticide is OK and goes hand in hand with pro-choice! This will however have to wait for another post.

Will a time come when men will fast for women (given role reversal - Who wd have thought that husbands wd ever want to sweat it out in a kitchen....)? As a woman, I am not sure I would want to give my fast up.
Which brings me to another emerging practice where both the husband and wife decide to fast and pray together. It's not done at large or we could plan for a circle of women exchanging talis and a circle of men exchanging thalis. We could even dig up a story for the men.

It is a whole world of opportunities out there, folks!

When asked early on what I thought of Karva Chauth, I replied, I think it's romantic. Close to 9pm last night, after I had completed my fast, Deepan and I stood at the balcony. Few houses ahead, we saw a young family celebrate the last ritual of the fast. The lady bowed down to the moon and her husband. The family drank from a cup of sweet milk and the child laid claim for all of the sweets.
It was very romantic. It was very real.

All of a sudden, the rituals, expectations and media-dramatized versions of Karva Chauth dissappeared. I was looking at the moon, with an offering plate that had a small clay lamp burning bright, a few fruits and the glass with sweet milk. I had my husband standing by the moon and for a few moments, the world was ours.
Karva Chauth is probably the most controversial festival we have in the North of India. The premise of this special day involves a wife who fasts for a day for the long life of her husband. The festival really begins the night before when the mother in law gives the daughter in law all that she will require for her fast. This could include food that the daughter in law would have before daybreak. This could also include almonds, clothing, accessories and anything else that the mother in law feels the daughter in law would want. On the fast day, after fasting for the most part of the day, ladies gather and sit down for a puja. The puja revolves around the 'katha' or story. Each lady prepares a thali (offering plate) that contains a diya (lamp), some water in a glass and a gift for one's mother in law.

The story is around a queen and her many brothers who conspire to break her fast illegally out of overt concern for their sister. The result, her king loses his mind and mistakes her servant as his queen. The queen then persists for a year in service and prayer. She fasts on Karva Chauth and with the grace of God her King recovers and claims her as his Queen. In the spirit of that story and her devotion, all married women exchange each other's thalis in support and faith of one another and their prayers.

I am a believer of such stories. My grandmother used to tell me one where a Queen's King was wrongfully accused of stealing another kingdom's Queen's anklets. Without proper investigation even, that kingdom's King ordered his counterpart's execution. The bereft widow of the dead King came to court and questioned the investigation. She claimed that her anklets were filled with navratnas (nine gems) and asked for the stolen anklets to be examined. When they broke her anklets, the gems rolled out. The King realized his mistake and begged forgiveness. The grief of the widow was immeasurable. She ran out of the King's court, not knowing where she really was headed. The kingdom she left behind began to lose its prosperity, such was the purity of her love. Drought, famine, poverty all came. Of course here, the story takes a different turn. My grandmother said that while this Queen ran the streets, Tamilian women looked at her and scoffed. "Look at this woman", they spat, "running around with her hair open and her sari all improper". The bereft widow turned to them and cursed them. "You will", she said, 'be like this when you lose your husbands". Till date, my grandmother said, tamilian women grieve the death of their husband by relinquishing all their accessories. While the bereaving Queen ran through Kerala, the women there sympathised with her condition and said, "I wonder what terrible thing must have happened for her to hurt so much". The Queen turned to them and blessed them. She said, 'Even when you lose your husbands, you will not have have my fate'. Till date, malayali women do not have to break their bangles, or shave their heads, or even not wear only white upon the death of their husbands. Of course, the storyteller, my grandmother, would have to be a malayali!

Then there's the other story of Savitri who won against Yama, the God of Death, and succeeded in bringing life back into the body of her husband.

Besides these two stories that remain most obvious in my mind, there are countless others. There is immense power in devotion. Women, I believe, are naturally good examples of devotion. The women at the puja yesterday came in all sizes and colors. Yet all of them, despite being decked like no less than Queens and being filmed for the local news channels, were intent in their devotion for that day.

Sitting there, I came to ponder on a few ponderings... (as always)
1. The direct and indirect participants of this fast are driven by fear, just like the BJP government drove the people of Gujurat.
2. Divide and rule is as much a part of Hindu culture as it is part of anything else. (poor brothers!)
3. When men commit mistakes, it's always attributed to insanity.
4. Just when you begin to feel completely overpowered by all of the male worship, your mother in law will step in and save some booty for the feminist cause! (Go MIL!) Of course, if you don't have a son, you might not be able to do your feminist bit.

And now for the most ridiculous bit....
On one of the new channels, Deepan and I caught a special episode of Karva Chauth. The producers had come up with a novel idea. Since a certain Brigadier and his wife were not together for this special day, the TV crew with modern technology was going to ensure that the two of them celebrate Karva Chauth 'on the air'.

Contrast that with the quiet dignity of my neighbour who came up a little after we finished ( I was an eager beaver!) and performed her puja in silent prayer. She might not have had her husband in the flesh but she certainly had him in spirit.

Hindu extremist groups get all excited about Christian conversions.
[The following two paragraph is paraphrased from a story titled 'RSS Invents Another Ram' from the Tehelka]
In a small village called Subir in Ahwa, Gujurat, the RSS and 'sister' organizations are staging a Kumbh mela this year. Seven years ago, in this 95% tribal populated area, these Hindu right wing groups burned down 35 churches and prayer halls in their protest against what they called Christian 'aggression'. Next they had a guru pay Rs 10000 for one acre of land, and since occupy close to four hectares of land. The religious texts (Ramayan) was modified to include Subir and a Sabari Dham Mandir in honor of Mata Sabari was built. This year, with the state government's blessings of transport and electricity, they will spend 8 crores on a Kumbh mela that expects to draw 5 lakh participants.
When asked by Tehelka, if the Dangs (the predominant tribals) need a Kumbh, Dangs Collector RM Jadhav replied "It's a religious issue. What can you do if people need it?" Tehelka then asked Prof Ganesh Devy, a prominent tribal activist what he felt the Dangs needed. The professor replied '...an imaginative forest development policy, at least 10 more residential schools for girls, at least two science colleges, a well-managed irrigation system and sorting out the issues related to the erstwhile princes of the Dangs"

The above story in the Tehelka was an interesting read. Before we TGFT (thank god for Tehelka) and it's brand of 'forthright journalism', let us remember that Tehelka launched it's first issue (with much dhoom/dhamaka!) with an exclusive story on Christian conversions and the Bush administration agenda in christianizing India. This current article forms an interesting full circle. Strangely enough though this article does not reference it's first issue report on Christian conversions and the Christian Agenda. This probably has to do with the changing nature of media news, akin to our cricketing traditions, where everything is in spurts and bursts and rarely about follow through and history (what's that??).
So with Hinduism too. Hindus practice their religion in spontaneity. One day we're leading normal lives, the next we're attending Ram lila and watching Ravana burn. Only to then return to our comatose-like state till we're ready to burst in colors and crackers, around Diwali time. Nothing warms up an Indian belly like hot jilebis on a chilly November day. After the dry spell from June to September, the fall season heralds in a series of holidays, celebrations and religious obligations.
We're also compelling Hindus. We egg each other on to religious fervor. The all-night Jagrans are a wonderful North Indian example of this. A Hindu never visits a temple alone. He or she will go with their family. Visiting a temple is hardly about communing with God. It's often akin to a picnic, a place to be seen and to be seen at. A married Hindu woman will experience these religious compulsions first hand. Attending bhajan sessions, doing puja, sharing prasad is often a second or even third job that they have to perform.

Spontaneity and Compelling - Is that really so bad, you'd ask.

Yes. What it has done is form the rock foundation for the fear psychosis that the right wing Hindu groups propagate. Hindus like you and me are being bombarded with statistics on Christian conversions. While some of the so called proactive Hindus respond by burning and looting, tampering with religious texts, coercing tribals to acknowledge Mata Sabari in lieu of their three gods ( a tiger, a snake and a hill), the bulk of us are too comatose to know any different.
We are different, we Hindus. We are born into our religion, initiated into it's practices and then compelled to follow suit. Years, decades, centuries later, we are no closer to discovering the essence of what spirituality is. As long as we are spontaneously compelled into certain practices, as long as we are not excluded, we bundle along like the masses one sees at Vaishno Devi or Tirupati.
Rank and status play important identifiers to us Hindus. Be it a man with uncombed hair or a woman with a shaven head, both represent different ranks and stakes. These are however homogenous identifiers and many of us have long fallen off the map. Yet, when it comes to roping in the adivasis, our 'vanvasis' ( LOL), we're pulling out all the stops.

In come the Christians, with their schools, training based jobs, caste-free communities and an outreach network that spreads across the globe, and all of a sudden Hindus are worried. It's the Pope's five year plan for India, you will hear in their heads. One day, we will all wake up to 101 hail marys and celebrate Christashtami.
What will become of our jilebis then?

The proactive ones amongst us are at it though. Their answer is an eight crore Kumbh mela. What more, Hindus wonder, can Adivasis/Vanvasis need to come flocking to pay obeiyance to Mata Sabari?
What more, I ask, can we Hindus really ask for?

I have always tried to understand why I need to be heard. It is a malaise that I am aware of but sometimes completely helpless against.
Example: blogging
When I began to blog I received comments, good and bad. The negative ones though stuck with me. I searched and scanned my blogs for negative feedback. From potshots at the usability on my site to language to length of posts, there were many.
Despite the brickbats, I still enjoyed blogging.

My last two posts however have received bouquets. First, a rant from a reader who hates Prannoy Roy and scared me with just how much. The second, a person who I think has always seen me as one step off the edge, telling me that this was my best yet.

I am tickled by it all. What can I say - thank you my dear friends, ladies and gentlemen, thank you!
LOL