Mansi

When asked early on what I thought of Karva Chauth, I replied, I think it's romantic. Close to 9pm last night, after I had completed my fast, Deepan and I stood at the balcony. Few houses ahead, we saw a young family celebrate the last ritual of the fast. The lady bowed down to the moon and her husband. The family drank from a cup of sweet milk and the child laid claim for all of the sweets.
It was very romantic. It was very real.

All of a sudden, the rituals, expectations and media-dramatized versions of Karva Chauth dissappeared. I was looking at the moon, with an offering plate that had a small clay lamp burning bright, a few fruits and the glass with sweet milk. I had my husband standing by the moon and for a few moments, the world was ours.
Karva Chauth is probably the most controversial festival we have in the North of India. The premise of this special day involves a wife who fasts for a day for the long life of her husband. The festival really begins the night before when the mother in law gives the daughter in law all that she will require for her fast. This could include food that the daughter in law would have before daybreak. This could also include almonds, clothing, accessories and anything else that the mother in law feels the daughter in law would want. On the fast day, after fasting for the most part of the day, ladies gather and sit down for a puja. The puja revolves around the 'katha' or story. Each lady prepares a thali (offering plate) that contains a diya (lamp), some water in a glass and a gift for one's mother in law.

The story is around a queen and her many brothers who conspire to break her fast illegally out of overt concern for their sister. The result, her king loses his mind and mistakes her servant as his queen. The queen then persists for a year in service and prayer. She fasts on Karva Chauth and with the grace of God her King recovers and claims her as his Queen. In the spirit of that story and her devotion, all married women exchange each other's thalis in support and faith of one another and their prayers.

I am a believer of such stories. My grandmother used to tell me one where a Queen's King was wrongfully accused of stealing another kingdom's Queen's anklets. Without proper investigation even, that kingdom's King ordered his counterpart's execution. The bereft widow of the dead King came to court and questioned the investigation. She claimed that her anklets were filled with navratnas (nine gems) and asked for the stolen anklets to be examined. When they broke her anklets, the gems rolled out. The King realized his mistake and begged forgiveness. The grief of the widow was immeasurable. She ran out of the King's court, not knowing where she really was headed. The kingdom she left behind began to lose its prosperity, such was the purity of her love. Drought, famine, poverty all came. Of course here, the story takes a different turn. My grandmother said that while this Queen ran the streets, Tamilian women looked at her and scoffed. "Look at this woman", they spat, "running around with her hair open and her sari all improper". The bereft widow turned to them and cursed them. "You will", she said, 'be like this when you lose your husbands". Till date, my grandmother said, tamilian women grieve the death of their husband by relinquishing all their accessories. While the bereaving Queen ran through Kerala, the women there sympathised with her condition and said, "I wonder what terrible thing must have happened for her to hurt so much". The Queen turned to them and blessed them. She said, 'Even when you lose your husbands, you will not have have my fate'. Till date, malayali women do not have to break their bangles, or shave their heads, or even not wear only white upon the death of their husbands. Of course, the storyteller, my grandmother, would have to be a malayali!

Then there's the other story of Savitri who won against Yama, the God of Death, and succeeded in bringing life back into the body of her husband.

Besides these two stories that remain most obvious in my mind, there are countless others. There is immense power in devotion. Women, I believe, are naturally good examples of devotion. The women at the puja yesterday came in all sizes and colors. Yet all of them, despite being decked like no less than Queens and being filmed for the local news channels, were intent in their devotion for that day.

Sitting there, I came to ponder on a few ponderings... (as always)
1. The direct and indirect participants of this fast are driven by fear, just like the BJP government drove the people of Gujurat.
2. Divide and rule is as much a part of Hindu culture as it is part of anything else. (poor brothers!)
3. When men commit mistakes, it's always attributed to insanity.
4. Just when you begin to feel completely overpowered by all of the male worship, your mother in law will step in and save some booty for the feminist cause! (Go MIL!) Of course, if you don't have a son, you might not be able to do your feminist bit.

And now for the most ridiculous bit....
On one of the new channels, Deepan and I caught a special episode of Karva Chauth. The producers had come up with a novel idea. Since a certain Brigadier and his wife were not together for this special day, the TV crew with modern technology was going to ensure that the two of them celebrate Karva Chauth 'on the air'.

Contrast that with the quiet dignity of my neighbour who came up a little after we finished ( I was an eager beaver!) and performed her puja in silent prayer. She might not have had her husband in the flesh but she certainly had him in spirit.