Mansi

This morning, I managed to drag myself out of bed and step out of the house. After two weeks of a maddening fever and too many pills, I decided to risk a brisk walk in my park.
Perhaps with about four weeks past, with no exercise at this park, I felt like I was in a different place. The barren feel to Delhi's greens was missing. Instead, I felt like I was entering a giant-size laboratory experiment. Every inch of the soil was green and some of it was even invading the pathway.
Evidently the result of our recent spell of monsoon, the greenery had taken to growth with a vengeance. Everything seemed rich and overdone, like a young bride or her older mother-in-law to be.
Walking is just not like running. There is no release, no internal combustion alike that which propelled the Apollo 13 to space. Running, a friend told me aptly, is meditative. It isn't about thinking but about not thinking. To feel blank and yet be supremely aware of your presence. So many times, I feel like I am being exorcised out of my own body. In that sense, it's a great relief and like a pressure cooker, except with the pressure off. As another example, it's akin to Alladdin's genie and his lamp. Running helps release the genie in you- the essence of all your magic. To be aware and to to 'be' the genie is the drug that keeps me hooked to running.
Walking just doesn't do it for me.
There is something terribly inspiring about seeing another person run. I know, I have grown up envying it, always playing victim to a bad back or my many excessive kilos. Looking back now, I know that it was inevitable that I would become a runner. Sometimes if that is the only thing I do, I feel it's plenty.
As I walked into my 32nd minute this morning, my thighs and calves began to shake. My body was hot under my eyes and I felt the sweat to do more with the fever than anything else. Perhaps the greatest motivation to go out walking was to put a check to any more weight gain. However, now I know, that it isn't really the weight that has me hooked to exercise. It's the desire to run. It's not the fabulous park either, with it's forest and flowers. Those don't do much for me. It's the running, the ability to blast off, even if it is at about 7km per hour (technically jogging).
I can't wait to start running again.