Mansi

Sometimes you wake up in the morning and you need something extra to get you going. Sometimes when you're out shopping, you need something more than just money in the purse and a list in hand. As a woman, I need other women. I need women with whom I can sit down and chat about just nothing. I need women with whom I can go running with. I need women who'll hold my hand when I am in the hospital. I need women who'll help me 'get away' from my family - short trips to Delli Haat perhaps, longer trips to the hills.

I crave for female companionship!

Listening to Melissa Ethridge this morning, it reaffirmed what I sorely miss in my life - the space for women!

I am not referring to the fairer sex that populates Delhi. Women who are married to their husbands and nothing else. Others who use their work as an excuse to run away from every relationship they know, big or small. Or some women who need other women to help 'free' them from the clutches of their children, husband and in-laws, only to then go back and embrace the whole lot again!!
I am thoroughly disappointed with the women in Delhi. Never before, have I encounted such an enslaved lot.

A friend of mine some months back gifted me a book by Erma and I remember feeling this deep sadness and creepy loneliness despite all the ingredients of good humor. Being a housewife, the subject of almost all of Erma's stories, is an incredibly lonely affair. Even in a country in India, where a wife not only marries a man but also his parents, sisters and extended families. Typically a housewife will probably have no time to do anything. And yet it's just another job, isn't it? Where's the time for her? It's not about going to a spa or getting your hair cut. It's more than that.

It's about having meaningful, passionate relationships with other women.

Both my husband and I spend a lot of time on the Internet. Yet, he has far more women friends than I do. Yes, it's true. Women seem to only want meaningful relationships with other men. If for just that reason alone, we should abolish the practice of Valentine's Day, then I'll support it! Too much is made about the relationship between a man and a woman. Moreso in the sub-continent, because as I earlier wrote in an article on marriage, for Indian women, marriage is a BIG DEAL. It's their time to get those expensive parlor treatments, clothes, jewellery, shoes (lots of shoes!!!) and still manage to have a gala time all around. So most women, in and out of college tend to focus on just one sex - the wrong one!!!

When's the last time I walked down the street, arms interwined with another woman? When's the last time I could sit back and listen to a woman speak her mind? When's the last time I walked into a room and caught the attention of women?

Why is it that women in Delhi do their best to ignore other women? Why is there all this competition? envy? fear?
Why do women here want others to be just like them? Why are they always asking about their husbands or in-laws? Can't a woman have anything else to talk about?

I don't need a support system. I don't need a woman support team - please! I made my choices with marriage and with work and no, I don't want another woman to crib to or cry on!

I want to celebrate in being a woman - a woman who's not a wife, a mother, an employee, a sister or an aunt. I just want to celebrate being me. I want to celebrate other women too. I want to hear their thoughts that has nothing to do with the many roles they play. I want to be able to go out with a woman and have fun.

Perhaps, this outpour precipitates the arrival of a very special woman - It's a time for celebrations - but each time she comes by and leaves, I am left with the same emptiness that Delhi does nothing to heal!

I am tempted to go in and analyse Delhi women, the way they are brought up, the value for their mothers vs their Dads - - their lessons with money and spending it (two totally different things) : But I think all the analysis will just reconfirm what we already know and at the end of it all, I'll just feel a tad sadder and want to dip into some chocolate. (Yes, I blame my fat on women too!)